Counseling...yes or no?

Counseling….yes or no?

YES. I’ve heard the concerns and worries from my friends and from my own mind and none of them hold meaning anymore. Once you find a good counselor, it’s hard to remember the fears of opening up to a stranger or figuring out how to divulge years of pain in 50 minutes. I was worried she would make me write my feelings out and tell me to repeat a mantra in the midst of anxiety. But mostly I was worried that she just wouldn’t get it. Thankfully this was not my case. I met my counselor through a referral from a friend (the best way to go, by the way) and we began our work a little over a year ago. Most of my healing I truly believe has been in that little room on Monday nights through the opening up and allowance of God to reach the closed off places of my heart.

It has not been easy however and it has been at the hands of me for this difficulty. I feel like there are things people should know about counseling before entering into this type of relationship. Here are a few of my lessons, sometimes painful, learned. Tried and true, I promise.

1)Do not expect your counselor to be your friend. They care about you, pray for you, but in the end they want you to be the best you and they aren’t afraid to hurt your feelings and ask you the tough questions. These details sound like a friendship…but you can’t exactly call he or she anytime you want. Plus their friendship costs money.
2)Money. It will take a lot to help you. Budget for it. Put back the clothes and purse or shoes. Mental health is important. Besides who cares about your new clothes if you’re too sad to wear them. Do not be surprised when you view your account and a big dip has occurred. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself this is where I’m at. I need a little extra help.
3)The counselor actually wants you to try the homework they give you. Anxiety will tell you, “you know best” but they are the professional. They studied a lot about people like you and they know some things you don’t. I am just now seeing my counselor as smart. I tell her I am one of her tough cases. But I suppose I didn’t have to be…
4)You will go in with one issue and come out thinking about 20 new ones. This is normal, they aren’t trying to get you to stay. They are showing you that tough stuff is connected and must be looked at before understanding and healing.
5)It is perfectly ok to be annoyed with the phrase, “How does that make you feel?”
6)Do not go if you are not going to open up. You are wasting their time and yours. They want to help you, and trust me, nothing you say will shock them. I heard once that anxiety was the biggest bluff your body plays on you, so let them help blow its cover.
7)You may not make a lot of progress at first. “At first” can last a long time too. That’s ok. The tide turns when it’s ready. Just do your best.
8)God is not absent in therapy. It feels like He is a lot. I don’t have a lot of guidance with this. Sometimes leaving counseling I felt worse. But you also get to talk about God and learn about who He really is and not what your pain has projected him to be.
9)You may go broke. I cannot stress this enough.
10)If it’s not a fit, don’t stay. You’ll find someone that is and be glad you did. I left a counselor once for telling me to find my happy place as remedy. I paid and never looked back.