For those who's hearts are broken

It's been a rough week for our church. A young beautiful girl drifted from our earth into heaven after a tragic car accident, a new mother to-be buried her sweet baby girl just two months shy of being full term, and a family said goodbye to a mother and daughter after a rainy car accident. 1 week, 4 deaths, and thousands praying to change God's heart and asking why? What are we supposed to do with the why?

I struggled this week with what to pray. The sovereignty of God is a large and tough thing to behold. What will be will be. And our fellow believers and pastors urge us to remember that God is still good, still good in the midst of darkness. It is so difficult to wrap your head around why he would want them early and why his best is take them from us. But you see that sentence is from our eyes. Our human eyes and hearts that cannot fathom an existence without theirs. We don't know what is best. We will go down fighting believing that we do, but we don't.

His ways are higher than ours; is that from an old hymn or in the Bible? My mom used to tell me that and I think I'll spend the rest of my days attempting to hold onto the truth of it. For some reason this sad week it was time for our loved ones to enter His presence and the absence of them in our lives will never make sense. The sense to cling to is that for a purpose higher than our dust-made minds can fathom is that God knows what he is doing. And his doing is perfect.

And its ok to cry, be angry, and question him. Your heart is broken and your understanding is severely lacking from his heavenly purposes. So go ahead and be all the emotions that you are, God knows you are weak and sad and will be for awhile. But you will rise from these ashes and slowly your perspective will begin to lean into him. Forever we will be sad in the absence of loved ones but hopefully as healing comes and God touches our broken spirit we will be reminded that He is good and that one day we'll understand.

My prayer for those that lost this week is that you feel no guilt in the emotions that will come and that you cry out to your Savior. Fervently pray that He will guide you to a place of trust in your pain and that you will rise. Do not give up. Life is hard and its ok to just be right now. Just be. He is sitting in the pit with you. Darkness is not darkness to him. I love you and I am praying for you as well.

Kate