The Helmet

I guess it began something like this:

Pediatrician: "Make sure the baby is sleeping on his back."

Nurse: "To prevent SIDS the baby needs to be on their back while sleeping."

Me: (anxious & terrified) "ok!"

So that's what I did. Nighttime, naps, on the play mat and so forth. Knox was ALWAYS on his back.  He hated tummy time too so that became minimal since he screamed when we tried. 

Around his second month appointment the pediatrician mentioned he was somewhat flat-headed. She suggested more tummy time but Knox's head didn't get better. It got worse. We were referred to a physical therapist for a diagnosis of Torticollis and began therapy. And then the talk of the helmet came. We were referred again to an Orthotist for a head scan to see how Knox was growing. Prognosis was not great but the doctor suggested we give his head one more month to grow before he was fitted for the helmet. 

Now I know a helmet on your baby is nothing compared to other more terrifying diagnoses. But to me it was a big deal. I felt somewhat responsible. Maybe I should have demanded more tummy time or maybe I should I have worn him in a sling or carrier. I feared he would hate it and not adjust. Would he sleep ok? Would it put him behind in trying to crawl because he had a new body weight to adjust to? 

I decided I was going to fervently pray. I wish I could say this was not my first rodeo with daily praying for a certain topic but sadly it was. I have much to grow in the praying department. Every night before I put Knox down to sleep I prayed. Nothing drawn out but just a simple asking of our Heavenly Father to heal his head and make it grow. It became a our ritual for a solid month. 

Today was Knox's second head scan. I awoke this morning with conflicting thoughts about how I was going to feel if God did not answer my prayer and Knox was fitted for a helmet or if maybe God answered my prayer and his head grew. I felt it going both ways and as per usual I was a doubting Thomas. Its frustrating sometimes when you know faith is a safe place to land and yet you won't jump. Ephesians 3:20 popped into my mind and I got a little excited to see what was going to happen. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20

Knox's head not only grew in one place but two. The orthotist said his head was behaving as if it was already in the helmet. He claimed it was rare and that Knox was headed in the right direction and did not need to be fitted. 

I left feeling overjoyed. God had answered my prayer and more. But it wasn't about me, it was about Him and His ways will never be my ways. Even if Knox had needed the helmet or fill in the blank in your own lives I think prayer is about learning to trust. Just trust alone. A flat head taught me that. 

(Please excuse the crazy layout, Blogger was not my friend today)