Thursday, April 02, 2015

Little One

I just put you down for your nap and after swaddling you tight you looked up at me and smiled. Precious little one, how I love you so. 

Our days are filled with play mats, musical elephants you haven't quite grasped yet, and bottles and snuggles.  Daddy and I praise you for lifting your neck and getting through tummy time though we know you hate it.  And then you sleep again and a new day begins.  So this is having a baby, this is having you. My mother told me this would be the hardest job I'd ever love. She was right. I am tired but my insides are also all mush. Filled with love I've never known before. 

Soon you'll be 3 months old and I'll wonder where the 12 weeks went as winter goes to sleep and spring arrives. But I know this won't be the last time I will wonder where time has hidden from me. I am old enough to know that time will always hide from me and you will always be one day older. One day, one month, and one year and I will be powerless to stop it. You'll grow up and away from me. And this is as it should be. But little one I am already sad about this. How sappy I am. 

So today I will remember that you always smell like baby lotion. That your hands are cold and your feet are warm and how this is confusing to me. That you don't like hats. That you smile when Jeff talks to you and you talk back when he sings.  That when you're the happiest you show it by pulling your legs up and grin until your eyes disappear. And that you love music and get quiet when we play it. Oh, how I love you so. 

Sleep tight little one. I'm glad you're still little. 

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