Crazy Bucket

         You have a bucket. I have a bucket. Let’s call it the bucket of crazy. It is the pail of circumstances, frustrations, and worries that begin to fill your mind and heart drop by drop; and every once in awhile your bucket bottoms out.
         I am referring to the days of course that you go a little looney tunes per say. These are the days where you are already in the hole emotionally and it gets worse from there. Your jeans are too tight so you have extra cereal because you’re sad. A project comes up at work that must be completed stat when you’re already behind. Your eyes are drooping despite the 8 hours of sleep you received the night before. A small headache forms at your temple and eases its way across your forehead like a blob of honey running down a jar. And someone asks you if you are feeling alright because you are sans makeup. I’m well thank you, just pale and haggard-looking. People always need you too; a friend or family member and you just don’t have it to give. But you’re not sure how to voice that so you just end up looking careless and out of it.
          Life’s big questions seem to appear too; What am I doing in life? What are my passions? Do I have passions? Does everyone just think I’m crazy because I take medicine? Why can’t I get it together today? I would handle this better if I’d just had my devotion, quiet time, starbucks visit or whatever we’re calling it these days. But honestly, you don’t feel close to Christ so it’s difficult to see him clearly to even run to. He isn’t up ahead of course, he is right beside you but we’re too full to notice. The bucket is teetering back and forth now and begins to spill over the edges as the bottom gives way. Definition=no rationalization, tears, desire to scream perhaps, and most likely a lashing out before lying still in bed …and its only 2:30pm.
        Listen, we’ve all been there. You’re not unstable. You’re not a bad Christian. You don’t need to Google your symptoms and I promise you’re still a good mom, wife, daughter, and sister. Your bucket just filled up a little quicker today. Figure out whatever it is you need to do to walk beside still waters with God and do that. Just that. And also, hang in there my fellow crazies.