Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Bleh...I feel fat.


If you’re girl and if you’re girl with anxiety then I’m pretty sure you don’t get to mark body image off your list of worries. And if you do I want to meet you and study your healthy logic. I am most definitely unhealthy in this department. I eat cobbler and feel guilt and then I feel guiltier because I’m the one that baked it! I choke back tears when I learn my BMI at my annual physical. I buy pants too big for me on purpose so that I don’t feel them digging into my stomach. I disregard compliments from my loved ones and convince myself that my body can be better. Sound familiar?

This is NOT a new topic. And yet the solutions we’re offered don’t seem to penetrate our stubborn minds. What do you tell yourself when you didn’t make the healthier choice and choose carrots as your snack? What if you chose cookies? What if you watched a movie and didn’t go to the gym? What if both of those examples happened on the same day? You’re not always going to hang out at LA Fitness and crave raw veggies because working out sucks and carrots are only good with ranch.. So…how to stay healthy mentally with regards to body image is not an easy task.

If it was really about healthier meals and cardio don’t you think we could just jump back on the wagon the next day and not beat ourselves up mentally? Nope. It’s alllllllllll mental. Just like anxiety. The things you feel after a bad eating choice and what you tell yourself are far worse than extra calories. The expectations we put on our bodies when comparing ourselves to others is outrageous. It isn’t fair. But neither is anxiety.

And on this side of heaven I’m not sure I’ll wake up and suddenly love my body. But what I can do is fight. Fight like I do with anxiety. Tell myself, “ok, you ate a lot of Biscoff cookies, let’s not buy those anymore.” And then move on, put the scale away, watch a movie, and go for a walk. Maybe even journal what you liked about today and how tomorrow is new. Try a gym routine that is conducive to your schedule, 3x a week instead of seven is actually ok. I know it sounds after school special-ly, but it’s a start.

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