Word Candy

I love quotes. If I was a part of a magazine, I would beg for a page to have "Kate's Corner" and include all sorts of fun quotes to make you smile, think, and hang on. Here are a few current favs:

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them. ~John Aughe

Psalm 9:9 The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you

"Life is life, fight for it."~ Mother Teresa

You should feel better in 4-6 weeks

I dislike it. At one point in time I hated it. We're sorta friends now. This took a lot, and I mean A LOT of time. I once stared at a pill for 20 minutes before taking it. For all I knew my liver was going to be in trouble if a stroke didn't get me first. I think we all have seen the commercials where the side effects are voiced quickly in the end as you watch someone laughing and walking on a beach. Or maybe you've even heard the controversy of how meds can sometimes have an adverse effect and cause you to plummet even lower.

I was terrified last year when my doctor prescribed me drugs. Would it change me, change my brain? Maybe nothing was really wrong with me and I didn't need them. These thoughts were on repeat as I waited at CVS. I had never had anything in my system stronger than an antibiotic and now I was going to pop a pill everyday that helped regulate brain chemicals. Eeek. My counselor helped me sort through my fears, but its been a long road.

I'm not sure how I came to be at peace with it, but at some point I had to put my trust in my doctor and my counselor. I had to believe that perhaps this was a season where I needed a little external help, that God was going to be with me when I swallowed. And with me when I had to change medicine by weaning off the old pill and introducing a new one. And with me when I had to take an anti-anxiety pill on top of the daily meds because I was having a rough day. And with me as I finally closed my eyes when my sleeping pill kicked in because the anxiety was too strong to relax. And with me through every headache, stomach-ache, dizzy spell, and fatigue day. Even typing this I sigh at how much he has had to intervene for me in this journey. Grateful doesn't seem big enough to say.

The picture above is the side effects and drug information that came with my newest medicine. I had to laugh at it and snap a pic before crumpling it. (It was front and back)

part of a club no one talks about

There has got to be some crazy statistic that states 3 out of your 5 best friends are currently popping pills for some type of emotional unrest or wondering if someone else feels like they do, right? At least that is what I tell myself to feel better…and not feel alone. I didn’t think depression and anxiety would be a part of my daily vocabulary in my late twenties. In fact I didn’t think I would be medicated for it or spend my hard-earned money on counseling and psychiatry visits. I wasn’t prepared to work the hardest I had ever worked before to only move two steps forward and five back. I questioned myself and my faith until I came to the end of me and then I would start the process all over again the next day. If this sounds depressing, well it is, you’re right. (It’s called depression) But there’s a glimmer in there too. That’s the thing about trials and God. You are never left the same. Most of the time you come out on the other end changed, and for the better is what they tell me. I’m still hoping for this glimmer.

Someone really wise recently told me that if God never takes away my anxiety then I would have to figure out a way to carry my suffering for His glory. To change the way I viewed it and praise God anyway. So this is it. My vulnerability, my blog, and my praise in the midst of pain. I pray you find solace in knowing you are not alone, that some days are hard and that’s ok, and that laughter helps too.