Good Things

Lately I've been bugging Jeff with questions about the future...things he wants for himself and for us. And then I answer the questions for myself, going on about my dreams and wonderful things I want. It's silly but I think we all do it. It's fun to dream about things we want for ourselves. Sometimes I think about what I want for my faith too because I think it would be unanimous if I asked my fellow Christians if they wanted good things from God. Forgiveness, blessings, hope, and love...ya know, the good stuff.


I don't think however that I would desire the good stuff for those I don't particularly care for. It's not that I would desire terrible things for them but I suppose I just wouldn't think at all about them. My M.O. is just to ignore those I don't like. My thought process is honestly, ugh he or she is annoying, mean, or etc. and I am just going to go out of my way to ignore, avoid, and secretly harbor ill-will. He or she may win a journal entry from me or a counseling session but then I attempt to just move on. I may even avoid gossiping about them. I'm such a good Christian.

But then, if I let myself, I think about their feelings. Would he or she care that I'm bad-mouthing them? Does God want good things for them? Would God want them to grow in their faith and receive the same love that I desire? Oh dear...yes. And then in that moment my fuse is snuffed out because I know I am not better than he or she. I'm not more IMPORTANT or kinder or more special. We are the same, and I deserve nothing more than them just because I believe I am the good one or the right one in the scenario in my mind. Entitlement is a terrible thing to behold in the faith journey. I'm not sure we wear it well.

So where does that leave us...or even this post? I think it's the beginning of a conversation that you have to start asking your heart. And if it's an honest talk then know you'll feel pretty bad at first. Nobody likes to be wrong and no one wants to willingly think upon their enemies or that maybe God wants us to love them. Love the homeless? Sure. Love our neighbors? Sure. Love babies? Of course. Love our families? Yep. But love the one that you just knoooow is dumb AND wrong? (silence) And remember that God wants the best for he or she? (silence).

I think silence is an ok start to this conversation. Silence is time to think and time to dwell on what the great Counselor is attempting to teach. Renewing the mind takes time and so does loving others.

I would rather learn to love than label another person as someone I want to ignore and stuff away in my drawer of people that have hurt me or been miffed at.