Sometimes you don't...

Sometimes you don't get the job. The house loan falls through. The pregnancy test is negative...again. The relationship ends. The check bounces. Or fill in the blank. 

Sometimes you're not sure what to do at a crossroad so you just stand still.  Maybe for days. And you may not even know what to say to God. All you can seem to remember about prayer is the dinner table song that preschoolers sing. Desperate for control, you weigh all the options, or paths, and try to make a wise decision. But really you just want a quick decision because standing still and feeling the pain of what you thought would come through just appears too much to shoulder at the moment. And it is. 

I don't know much about God. I'm trying to learn his character. He is too big for me, but in my wanderings I am reminded of scripture. It's all I have right now. I don't hear God audibly in my current status, so my heart reminds me of the Bible. 

Life is hard and sometimes in the have nots you remind yourself that strength is not yours to muster up. It is grown with the watering of your soul by a God that promises a perfect tread in high places. For me, strength will come by sitting still with him, writing, listening to his worship, and reading the same passage over and over again. And maybe a coffee, a good sugary one. ;)

    Though the fig tree should not blossom,

nor fruit be on the vines,

    the produce of the olive fail

and the fields yield no food,

    the flock be cut off from the fold

and there be no herd in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord;

I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

God, the Lord, is my strength;

he makes my feet like the deer's;

he makes me tread on my high places. Habakkuk 3:17-19.